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No One Ever Praises Glue
The past year has been filled with argument and controversy, the latest examples being all the violent arguments over health care reform and the outburst of South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson -- of "You Lie!" infamy.

We're living in a time that's becoming more and more of an "in-your-face" era, where the right to say and do anything in any place has become more and more apparent... and extolled as a societal virtue of sorts. This hasn't happened overnight, of course, but the signs have been there. Some ten years ago, I was attending a community symphony performance of Handel's Messiah. Unfortunately, a young man sitting in front of me kept talking during the singing. I tapped him on the shoulder and politely requested that he stop talking during the performance. He ignored me, and if anything, began to talk more loudly, as if the singers and I were intruding on his conversation. When I placed my hand on his shoulder, he became abusive and threatening for a moment... but he did stop talking -- until after the concert when he suggested that my behavior was unbelievable and that if I weren't so much older, he'd have knocked my block off -- except his language was far ruder than that. He was disturbing everyone in three rows...if not more... but my asking him to be polite was absolutely insufferable? We'd all come to hear the concert, not him.


We have students texting in classes, shooting each other in schools and on the streets, and their parents threatening lawsuits against teachers who attempt to maintain discipline. We have talk show hosts and now politicians reaching new lows in their language and demeanor while effectively inciting violence or violent reactions to those with whom they disagree.


Less and less are people working things out, and more and more they shout, demanding that their opponents accept "the truth." Since each side has a "truth," all the shouting does is widen the gaps. "Tell it like it is" only means "tell it like I see it." While there's nothing wrong with telling your side of the story, it's only one side. Sometimes, it's the "better" side. Sometimes, it's not, but the unspoken assumption today is that when "I" speak, it's the truth, while "you" speak, you lie. And it's far from persuasive when either side shouts the "truth."


It used to be that what held groups together were small things, like manners, civility, a respect for the others as individuals, even when everyone's views were not precisely the same. And there were people in those groups who tried to work out solutions on which most people could agree. And there was a recognition that resources were limited, and that not everyone could have everything.


These people, these manners and mannerisms, and these recognitions, were a form of glue, glue that held groups and societies together. The problem today is that everyone praises the individuals and the traits that divide society, and leadership seems to be defined by who shouts the loudest and in the most abusive manner, rather than by who tries to solve the problem. No one recognizes, let alone praises, the glue that once held us together.


How about a national day in praise of glue?


Comments:
Well spoken. Such a great point. I might send it to my students, seeing as this is my first year as a teacher and they might be better served with some good old fashioned logical arguments...
 
I think you have it right. Sadly, people calmly and politely discussing differing opinions doesn't make for "great" television.
 
It used to be that what held groups together were small things, like manners, civility, a respect for the others as individuals, even when everyone's views were not precisely the same. And there were people in those groups who tried to work out solutions on which most people could agree. And there was a recognition that resources were limited, and that not everyone could have everything.

I'm nearly the same age as Mr. Modesett, and I cannot remember when his statement was true. It certainly wasn't true during the race riots and civil rights conflicts of the 1960s. It wasn't true in regards to the "free love," "trip out," and "make love, not war" controversies in the late 1960s and early 1970s. It wasn't true about the post-Roe vs. Wade abortion disputes that were more nasty and violent than today's disputes. It wasn't (and isn't) true about the debates over the "War on Drugs." Letters to the Editor were sometimes vitriolic thirty or forty years ago, just as they are today.

I don't believe that agreeing to disagree was any more common one or two generations ago than today. The difference today is that increased communications (cable news, more radio stations, and thousands of weblogs) makes public more disagreements and disputes. Anonymous insults shouted at a city council meeting rarely got into the news forty years ago. Now they're reported on weblogs (and later by other media, if the blog post generated enough hits). And, as Iron Sparrow noted, nastiness gets far more publicity than reasoned and calm discussions and compromises.
 
I wasn't possibly as clear as I might have been. I agree with Dr. T on the point that there have often been great disagreements in our country during my lifetime, but what I was trying to get at was that, despite all that, compromises did happen and people did talk things out. When I first went to work on Capitol Hill, legislative compromises and working things out were the order of the day. Congress was occasionally late with appropriations, but the majority of authorization and appropriation bills passed before the beginning of the next fiscal year. Today, virtually no stand-alone appropriation bill can be passed because of the strident political posturing, and everything gets lumped into a catch-all continuing resolution, with the provisions based largely on straight political power. To me, that's symptomatic of the change. Once arguments were the beginning, and then people worked things out. Today, the arguments are the beginning, middle, and the end.
 
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